emotion

and so i as i think about it more and more, will the feeling ever go away? i dont know im still waiting for the day that it will maybe decide to leave me. i am so confused inside and i dont know where i am headed in life, but i know i have ambition to go somewhere. i want something more, but im just getting something less, it's probably just me and the decisions i make right? i want normalicty back in my life, i'm so sick of sharing my room with my mother and my sister, i wish for all god damns sake that my mother would get out and leave me instead of reminding me everyday of that past i don't want to see. i'm not hiding from that past because it's part of me, but i will never forgive what she has done to me. i want someone to talk to smoothly, i want a person i can be my compete self around and someone who will almost get me and someone who wont hold my imperfections against me. i want that feeling to last again without the outcome of a crushed let down feeling. i want to be able to decide something without it being so hard and then without me feeling so awkward to suggesting my decision. i'm glad that i'm having some help with that. i know all of this isnt making too much of sense but i'm releasing my emotions, my feelings, and my anger. i think i just want to be understood without trying too hard, i want to be loved for being me, nothing more, nothing less. i want to be heard by someone, and i want to hear someone/something. i am done with this, i feel a dash bit of betterness.

have a lovely day

again

i kind of almost forgot how this feeling felt and i'm sure glad it's happening to me once again. it seems as things are going pretty good for me so far and i cant wait to see what else comes to me cause i'm waiting patiently to find out! oo the joy of it all haha. and this book i'm stoked on this book i'm making even though i'm giving it to someone as a present. ah i feel so good (:

I AM

i did this, i'm living, i'm happy, i moved on, i'm learning, i'm listening, i'm caring, i'm sharing, i'm growing, i'm expanding, i'm doing new things, i'm doing old things, i'm laughing, i'm smiling, i'm hurting sometimes, i'm picking myself up, i'm bringing myself down, i'm blooming, i'm not so shy, i'm knowing more what i want, i'm still upset, i'm feeling, i'm enjoying, i'm daring, i'm ecstatic, i'm not letting this happen to me again, i'm deciding(kind of), i'm being helped, i'm helping, i'm making up, i'm pleasing, and their is sooo much more that doesn't even come to mind. but im happy, the summer WILL do me good and i think the new school year will too.

have a good (fill in the blank) like always!