emotion

and so i as i think about it more and more, will the feeling ever go away? i dont know im still waiting for the day that it will maybe decide to leave me. i am so confused inside and i dont know where i am headed in life, but i know i have ambition to go somewhere. i want something more, but im just getting something less, it's probably just me and the decisions i make right? i want normalicty back in my life, i'm so sick of sharing my room with my mother and my sister, i wish for all god damns sake that my mother would get out and leave me instead of reminding me everyday of that past i don't want to see. i'm not hiding from that past because it's part of me, but i will never forgive what she has done to me. i want someone to talk to smoothly, i want a person i can be my compete self around and someone who will almost get me and someone who wont hold my imperfections against me. i want that feeling to last again without the outcome of a crushed let down feeling. i want to be able to decide something without it being so hard and then without me feeling so awkward to suggesting my decision. i'm glad that i'm having some help with that. i know all of this isnt making too much of sense but i'm releasing my emotions, my feelings, and my anger. i think i just want to be understood without trying too hard, i want to be loved for being me, nothing more, nothing less. i want to be heard by someone, and i want to hear someone/something. i am done with this, i feel a dash bit of betterness.

have a lovely day